Don't mess with the Neiman Marxist

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

I don't want to feel no more!

Dear Ida No,
Thank you for making that lyric.

Dear Father,
Fuck you.

This week is so strange. Monday was particularily hard during the day, with all this therapy I'm going through right now, I feel well okay I'm getting through some stuff, and feeling more and I was all emotional on sunday, and while it was hard it was a good thing, then monday hits, and it's like slam against the wall. I find myself hysterically crying on my bed after numerous phone calls from my family, then a knock on my door from my lovely roomate, and after getting over sadness, start feeling the unending anger, and then sniff sniff, I'm numb. I've been numb since, and I'm not sure if it's bothering me, then I was watching 'The View' today and Neil Diamond performed and it touched me in such a way, that I realized I need to start writing music, so I did.

Also, within my numbness on monday I went to an amazing show, saw one of my favorite bands 'USA is a Monster' and talked with the drummer for a good amount of time afterwards at a bonfire on 16th street. It was inspiring, and made me feel good about making music, and reminded me that it's okay for me to completely express myself with it. I can perform yes, but I need to let myself go through writing.
It needs to be done.


Dear Father,

Fuck you. You are a bad father.

Dear Melissa,

Sometimes it's okay to be numb.


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